AHHHHH.....TRANQUILLITY!!!!

When the space shuttle Endeavor travels to the space station this month, it will be carrying a new living chamber called Tranquillity....psst.....that's what I call the bathroom downstairs nobody else uses

The demolition of Giants Stadium got started Thursday......then halted when the rear bumper of a '75 Caddy was discovered with a personalized license plate..... "HOFFA"

Probably a good thing govt is proroguing......if they were in Ottawa they would just be coming up with more ways to spend our money....I don't have any more

Hollywood's Walk of Fame will honour Ringo Starr with a star.....should be a horseshoe.......he IS the luckiest man in history.

Should be a prize given for a fast food place that actually gives you a burger that looks like the commercial.....I thought to myself today while picking ketchup soaked onions off my shirt

MTV has made a deal with the cast of "Jersey Shore" to return for a second season.... Snooki, The Situation, and the rest escaping the cold Northeast for a warmer destination.....a week or two in the deep south hanging with red necks would be entertaining.

How far could you take the driver distraction issue.....should we still talk to passengers.... change the radio station....what about the 3 toddlers in the back seat...I'm just sayin

BREAKING NEWS....No Shit.....my wife is watching Oprah and a woman from Toronto went into labour an hour ago and Oprah opened her live show with a call from the hospital.....the woman was bummed because she missed the show......the big O said she'll fly her back when she's ready.....awww.....turn it off.

Remember the devastating elbow Patrice Cormier delivered a few weeks ago in the QMJHL....suspended for the rest of the season....Lou Lamarillo from the NJ Devils who owns his ass said "The hit wasn't that bad"....traded him to Atlanta in the Ilya Kovulchuk deal yesterday.....mmmm

Another new Tiger mistress comes forward......that makes 16?....she is protesting a company that is picturing all the mistresses on golf balls claiming it promotes abuse....you just can't make this stuff up

This whole Toyota thing.....gas pedal sticking on some.....brakes faulty on others.....this has been in the works by the Japanese since the end of WW2....."Bcome woolds wajest ka maka, den all yankee commit hari kari wit kaas"

One of the terrorists arrested in the UK this week say's "a bomb that can destroy a building can be built in an hour"....he said "The real problem is finding underwear that big"

A zoo in Atlanta is delivering two Panda bears to China.....what would you tip a bear delivery guy?

Gotta go....remember...I search the web for nonsense so you don't have to....ben_burnett for tweets or e-mail me....... ben.burnett33@yahoo.ca