London's Houses of Parliament, also known as Westminster Palace, has rodents, and the peers aren't exactly sure what to do about it......the Queen has offered the services of the Royal Mouse-catcher....."The Earl of Sylvester"
Police have released the identity of a man who was charged after someone without pants tried to get into the Regina mayor's office....it was all a big mistake, no tiolet paper in the parliament washroom......he had heard the mayor had it stored in his office.
Jessica Simpson almost broke down in tears during an interview with Oprah Winfrey over comments John Mayer made about their sex life........mainly because he hasn't called her since.
Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger retired yesterday after landing in Charlotte, North Carolina.....actually Sully landed in the Atlantic for old time sake....he wanted to "go out with a splash"
Finance Minister Jim Flaherty brings down his fifth federal budget with talk of a new jobs strategy......so everybody will have a job tomorrow.....everyone should line up at the employment office, 8:00 AM ready to go.
In St. Petersburg, Florida, police received a report of a suspicious paper bag near the door of a building which houses courtrooms and several government offices......The bomb squad discovered the bag contained a croissant.....dam those French....what if it had egg salad on it!
Researchers have found the fossil remains of a dinosaur cousin that lived 243 million years ago, making it the oldest known dinosaur relative.....never changes....lend your cousin some spare leaves....they disappear!
Lily Allen’s Twitter.com attacks on Courtney Love have turned to pity and concern....."Having read her twitter updates and found them quite hard to decipher, I think she is in trouble and in need of help".....to which the world replied....."Duh"
Rescue crews have freed a worker who had been trapped in a 15-metre-tall corn silo for more than five hours at a grain storage facility 45 kilometres south of Ottawa......the man was in good shape.....except he couldn't stop telling bad jokes.....corny (sigh)
Disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich spoke at Northwestern University Tuesday night on ethics and morals in government......they tried to get Richard Nixon but.......
A recently found star in a distant dwarf galaxy is supporting the idea that the Milky Way "ate" other galaxies.....astronomers will now refer to the Milky Way as "The Kirstie Alley"
Tiger Woods' caddie Steve Williams says he knew nothing about the golfer's extramarital affairs and was angry with him over the scandal......"He could have at least given me seconds."
A Kentucky sheriff says a claustrophobic deputy has lost his job after accidentally locking himself in a jail cell and trying to shoot his way out of it......I thought Barney Fife had retired.
NFL---The Colts announced Wednesday that Peyton Manning had surgery in Chicago to fix a pinched nerve that was causing a pain the neck...it had to be something....because they released Mike Vanderjagt four years ago.
O Canada! Our home and native land! True patriot love in all thy sons command......they are reviewing our national anthem and will make it gender nuetral.....if we keep consuming atrazine, which changes gender in frogs.....it won't matter.
Gotta go....budget speech is coming on....riveting stuff. Follow me on Twitter for blog posting's @ben_burnett or Facebook e-mail ben.burnett33@eastlink.ca
As the games begin
16 hours ago
