NEW IOC RULE STATES HOCKEY GAMES WILL NOW BE PLAYED ON PAPER

Olympic organizers have stocked the Olympic Village with 100,000 condoms....they must have thought basketball was a winter sport.

A recently released Toyota document from last year cites millions of dollars in savings by delaying safety regulations, avoiding defect investigations and slowing down other industry requirements......GM execs exclaimed "You can do that?"

Someone lit a cross on fire and yelled racial slurs outside the home of an interracial couple in a Nova Scotia community early Sunday, RCMP say......in other news....church leaders are rallying members to help stamp out what they call "the Devil's tool, rock and roll music!!!!".

Major League Baseball has banned guns and other deadly weapons from the clubhouse…….but a special rule states A-Rod can still bring in Kate Hudson.

A statue depicting U.S. President Barack Obama as a boy was installed at his former elementary school in Jakarta, Indonesia, on Sunday after it was removed from a local park amid controversy over its suitability.....officials say "When we see his birth certificate, we will put it back in the park".

The annual wedding dress sale was last week in New York City. Women shove each other in the store for a deal…..the women are crazy…. you would think it was the last case of beer in the place.

In the UK, the Science and Technology Committee found no evidence that homeopathy, based on herbal medicines, is effective, according to a report published Monday.....the committee will take questions from reporters after they finish their relaxing and sedative "Catnip Tea".

The man who invented the "Easy-Bake" oven has died at age 83....the service will be held in a tiny room with one 60W bulb.

A Nova Scotia-based school is eager for an investigation into the sinking of its ship off Brazil and the two days that 64 students and staff spent in life-rafts......The Skipper and Gilligan were not available for comment.

Andrew Koenig, who played the character of Richard "Boner" Stabone on the TV series Growing Pains in the 1980s, has gone missing in Vancouver. He was last seen by friends on Valentine's Day.....sliding down the Luge track on his back with the American Flag attached to his......nickname.

A man who is only 22 inches tall left his home country of Nepal on Sunday in a quest to be recognized as the world's shortest man......the Hilton family have hired the man as an assistant for Paris.....he will report back to the family should there be any, ahem, wardrobe malfunctions.

EMI Group Ltd., which owns the legendary Abbey Road Studios in London where the Beatles recorded their last album, says the studios are not for sale after all......Sir Paul McCartney has blocked the sale saying "They can't sell it, I lost my shoes in there!"....(under 40?.....see cover of "Abby Road")
 
Australian promoters of AbbaWorld are on the hunt for a missing white jumpsuit that Abba's Agnetha Faltskog wore during the group's 1977 Australian tour......rumors are circulating that it may have been destroyed.....the last known owner was "Super Dave Osbourne".

Pope Benedict XVI spoke out against the use of body scanners at airports during an audience with airport workers and officials at the Vatican on Sunday.....unless Catholic priests were put in charge.....of course "pat-downs" will be included then.

Next up for our Canadian Men's hockey team, Germany....if we lose....you will find me on the tallest building in town....learning to fly....tweets @ben_burnett.....e-mail ben.burnett33@yahoo.ca  and face me on friendbook....or something.