NOT YOUR GRAMMA'S GRAMMY'S

THE FOLLOWING IS WRITTEN IN AMERICAN.....TO TRANSLATE INTO CANADIAN, PLACE THE WORD "EH" WHERE YOU FEEL APPROPRIATE

GRAMMY'S LAST NIGHT....MISSED ELTON JOHN AND LADY GAGA.......PROBABLY DRESSED THE SAME ANYWAY

LIKED PINK'S PERFORMANCE, LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS BEING CARRIED BY A STORK.......IT WAS GOING GREAT UNTIL SHE PISSED ALL OVER THE CROWD

BLACK EYED PEAS PERFORMED, THE ONLY WORDS I COULD UNDERSTAND WERE   "I'M A BE"......CLOSED OUT SONG WITH THE STATEMENT "WELCOME TO THE FUTURE"......IF THATS THE FUTURE I HOPE WE DON'T HAVE TO DRESS LIKE THAT.

BEST NEW BAND......I DIDN'T KNOW ANY OF THEM............HOPE THE WINNERS GOOD, WE HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM NOW

LEON RUSSELL SOUNDED A LOT LIKE WILLIE NELSON.............PRETTY SURE LEON DIDN'T KNOW WHERE HE WAS

IRONY:  THIS DATE IN 1963, NEIL YOUNG PLAYED HIS FIRST GIG AS PART OF THE "SQUIRES" AT A COMMUNITY CLUB IN WINNIPEG........FINALLY GETS A GRAMMY 47 YEARS LATER

FEBRUARY IS "LIBRARY LOVERS MONTH"...........LOVING IS OK IN A LIBRARY..........YOU CAN ALWAYS CHECK THE SELF HELP SECTION

NEVER TRY TO DIET AND QUIT SMOKING AT THE SAME TIME..........I TRIED TO LIGHT A BABY CARROT LAST NIGHT

IF CONAN O'BRIEN CAN MAKE 30 WHATEVER MILLION FROM NBC FOR NOT BEING FUNNY............WHY CAN'T I MAKE A BIT MORE MONEY.........I'M NOT FUNNY

THE TORONTO RAPTORS WILL PLAY IN INDIANA TOMORROW WITHOUT INJURED FORWARD HEDO TURKOGLU.......SURE HOPE PIZZA PIZZA AND SPRITE DIDN'T PAY TOO MUCH FOR THE "YES COACH" COMMERCIAL..........WORST EVER

NOW AN EXERCISE TIP: COUCH POTATOS.....FORCE YOURSELF EVERY 15 MINUTES TO STAND UP AND SHUFFLE YOUR FEET..........THEN REWARD YOURSELF WITH A DOZEN WINGS AND A COUPLE BEER.......AS AN ADDED BONUS, WHILE STANDING IT'S EASIER TO SCRATCH

NEW STUDY SAYS HEALTHY ADULTS NEED LESS SLEEP THEN YOUNGER ONES..........GOOD THING, AFTER 50 YOU HAVE PLUMBING ISSUES THROUGH THE NIGHT

GREAT TRADES FOR THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS OVER THE WEEK END.....GOT RID OF UNDER ACHEIVERS BLAKE AND STAJAN, PICKED UP STUD D MAN DION PHANEUF AND GOALIE JS JIGUERE.......LEAF FANS STUNNED......FIRST POSITIVE TRADE SINCE GETTING DOUG GILMOUR 20 YEARS AGO

WEEELLL THATS ALL FOR NOW MY FINE FRIENDS....DON'T WANT TO LAY IT ALL ON YA AT ONCE......FRIEND ME ON FACE BOOK.......AND SOMETIMES I TWEET, (DEPENDING ON WHAT I HAD FOR LUNCH)    BEN_BURNETT ON TWITTER    E-MAIL ME AT: ben.burnett33@yahoo.ca