OLYMPICS WITH NO SNOW

The Olympic committee re-iterated their dilligence in testing for doping of athletes at the Vancouver winter games......boy, did they pick the wrong province.

The Olympic committee announced today that a 5% ticket rebate will be given to spectaters that bring a cooler full of snow.

An Australian study suggests that a global drop in oxygen levels may have been the driver that led ancient fish to leave the water and evolve into the first air-breathing animals on land.....not whale farts as was previously thought.

Yarmouth MLA Richard Hurlburt has resigned in the wake of the spending controversy involving several Nova Scotia politicians....isn't it funny how the ones that "protest too much" are the guilty ones.....bet he would have bought a cheaper TV if he'd known he was going to have to pay for it.

Then it was revealed that Progressive Conservative Leader Karen Casey knew about the TV last week.....she didn't want to say anything because it was her weekend for the TV.

Mike Tyson is in Europe performing on Italy's version of "Dancing With The Stars".....going great until Mike bit off his partners ear.

The President of Toyota bowing to the world as an apology is an ancient custom where, if you can see the back of his neck, it means you can take off his head.....suddenly, Wall St. executives are grabbing the back of their necks.

Because of another snowstorm in Washington, only essential government workers have to show up to their offices today.....much like Ottawa, the problem is finding an essential government worker.

On his prime-time show Monday, Jay Leno said that it was good to see his old friend David Letterman for the taping of the Superbowl ad......what.....smell?.....oh, that's Conan O'Brien lighting cigars with hundreds.

"This is Lil Wayne going to jail. Nobody can tell me what that's like," the rapper told Rolling Stone magazine for its latest issue. "I just say I'm looking forward to it."......yep...."Lil Wayne....I'm Big Dog.....yer bunkin wit me"

This day in 1974: Phil Spector was seriously injured in a car accident between Los Angeles & Phoenix. He received multiple injuries & underwent extensive plastic surgery which altered his looks. The details of this accident remain a mystery to this day.....the accident gave him the creepy look to go along with the creepy mind.
 
After 3 federal appeals, The B.C. Appeal Court has ruled that provinces, not the federal government, have jurisdiction for health care, which includes services such as supervised injection sites for addicts of illegal street drugs.....Mark Townsend, executive director of Portland Health Society said yesterday "We wish Stephen Harper would stop wasting court time and the taxpayers' money and start helping to solve the drug problem in our community,".....you and about 30 million other people Mark.

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ben_burnett for tweets or e-mail me ben.burnett33@yahoo.ca