BP SEEKS DUTCH BOY WITH BIG FINGERS

The Sci-Fi Channel is coming out with a cooking show.......geeks need to learn how to cook.....they will never have a spouse to do it.

A French man with no arms or legs will attempt to swim across the English Channel...........wonder if his name is "Bob"?

A woman who was hit by a car is suing Google for map directions she got as a pedestrian in Utah..........she claims she couldn't find the big pin with the red ball on the end.

Aerosmith have announced thier Cocked, Locked, Ready To Rock Tour will kick off in Oakland, California on 23 July..........Vegas still has it at 3 to 1 Tyler falls off the stage within a week.

A report by a United Nations panel suggests the world's population should shift away from a meat-based diet and cut fossil fuel consumption.........at least I think they said that......I heard it on my way to Master Meats in my Suburban.

An international team of researchers began a simulation of a flight to Mars that will keep them locked in windowless modules for 520 days.......it's a six-member, all-male crew....three Russians, a Frenchman, an Italian-Colombian and a Chinese.....the French participant said he was bringing along a guitar so he could entertain the other team members.....how many Frere Jacques's 'til that thing is smashed over his head.

"Twist Of Kate" is set to air this fall.......Kate Gosselin takes on an a variety of jobs that ordinary people do....such as garbage collecting....the boss said...."If she worked at this job for a month or so, believe me, she would mambo like you’d never seen her before!”......eeew.....I just pictured her doing the mambo!

James Cameron, the director of Avatar and Titanic, joined scientists and other experts at a meeting with U.S. officials Tuesday in Washington to come up with possible fixes for the oil leak.......James Cameron?....was this caused by blue aliens?......he couldn't stop a boat from sinking.....he can't even get a decent haircut.

I get a kick out of watching the BP oil executives.....It's a nice mixture of certainty and cluelessness......like watching a kitten bat its paw at a python.

Have a good week-end everybody.....Friend me on Facebook, Follow on Twitter @ben_burnett or send an e-mail ben.burnett33@yahoo.ca  love to correspond.