PAMELA ANDERSON HAS BIG....ISSUES

The Canadian Transportation Agency has said WestJet's domestic cap of $250 for claims on luggage liability is unreasonable, and gave the airline until April 18 to respond....I think they just responded....189 suitcases just hit the ground from an overhead jet leaving Toronto.

Colombian rebels have freed a soldier who has been held hostage in the jungle for more than 12 years.....while trying to catch up on world events he missed over 12 years.....the soldier bolted back into the jungle after being exposed to "American Idol" for the first time.

More than 500 rabbits were discovered living inside a south Edmonton home.....the owner insists he was running a "Pregnancy Detection Center" and that business has been slow.

A Belgian parliamentary committee has voted to ban face-covering Islamic veils from being worn in public.....the committee chair tried to calm protests by explaining "A special committee will be formed to look at each case, for example, if the person is really ugly they will be encouraged to continue wearing the veil"

MARCH 31---The Humane Mouse Trap was patented on this day in 1908.....Instead of killing the mouse, this trap slipped a wire collar with a bell on it around his neck and turned him loose......he would scare away other mice.....maybe you could use this on sex addict's like Tiger and Jesse James.

A lot of soccer experts feel David Beckham should retire as he begins to recover from an Achilles tendon operation......that and the obvious head trauma he has endured from "heading" soccer balls for so many years.....look who he married for God's sake!

Hillary Clinton has taken issue with Prime Minister Stephen Harper's G8 initiative on maternal mortality, arguing that any effort to improve the health of mothers in poor countries must include access to abortion......Bill Clinton sent a memo to Harper stating...."Better do what she wants Stephan, or you will be on the couch again....oh wait...that's me..."

Some are wondering if Sandra Bullock will make her first public appearance at this Saturday’s Kids’ Choice Awards, where she is nominated for Favourite Movie Actress......the website for the awards features “fun facts” about the nominees: “Sandra is happily married to the tattooed superstar motorcycle maker and monster mechanic Jesse James.”......they should really edit this to add....."who sometimes likes to lubricate skanky walking billboards"

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton and Haitian Prime Minister Jean-Max Bellerive will co-chair a committee overseeing at least $3.8 billion in post-quake aid to Haiti....when asked to comment, the former U.S. President said "He's a big fella, but I think we can both squeeze into one chair"

Some 4,000 conservative Catholic university students in Rome for a convention, attacked journalists who have written about the sexual abuse of children by priests as "sowers of mistrust.".....the priest's were "sowing" a lot more then mistrust with that one furrow plough under their robes.

MARCH 31---The U.S. bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark for $25-million on this day in 1917......the next day they tried to return the islands when they discovered the natives were not all virgins....to which the Danes replied......April Fools!!!!

Pamela Anderson has personally filed a series of Access to Information requests in an effort to prove the seal hunt actually costs Canadian taxpayers money...."For the many Canadians who travel abroad, like me, it's a huge embarrassment.".......A government spokesperson said in response...."For the many Canadians who travel abroad, like me, Pamela Anderson is a huge embarrassment."

Send me an e-mail ben.burnett33@yahoo.ca and blog updates are on Twitter @ben_burnett and friend me on Facebook.